Internet

Often I feel like the majority of my time spent interacting with things and people now is through a computer.

I do get out. I do run for exercise. I do see people outside in the world and socialize. But left to my own devices when I'm at home alone, my first instinct is to go to a computer. I'd rather not do this. I'd rather go for a book, or decide to go for a walk outside, or draw something, or write something.

Why? Because stagnation is a thing. To visit the same websites over and over again is to tread over the same ground and dig out deeper and deeper ruts and grooves in what my mind thinks is rewarding or worth doing. Also- I feel like all I do is consume. Writing this is already better than just reading the NYT front page for the 5th time or another think piece from the Atlantic. I read and learn a lot, but it's all easy and fast reading- something akin to eating candy. I feel I forgot almost all of it by the end of the day. Browsing the Internet is like living life on auto-pilot. It's time to take control again and do something different. Shake things up a bit.

I previously have made a conscious effort to stop opening up facebook and email whenever I pick up my computer, but conscious is the keyword there. As soon as I'm not paying attention, or extra tired one day, or unfocused-- the old habit picks back up and I spend an hour on useless websites. And tiredness happens often! It's because I'm spending too much time on the computer in the first place and don't go to sleep when I should.

This is a disease of the generation. This is our television addiction that will follow us into adulthood. Older people I know already spend all of their time in front of the TV, and if I'm not careful I'll end up spending all my time in front of the computer.

I need to read more books and then write down what I thought about them. I need to clean the house and make it into a space I enjoy coming back home to. I need to stretch more because I'm already a fossilized body stuck in my chair for hours on a day. I don't think these things are inherently too difficult to do but they are not the first thing my brain jumps to when I have a free moment, so they do not get done. I guess I can just keep on trying.